A Gap and a Reason

It’s hardly going to be 20 days, full of stress and full of tight mood. Everyday I thought of expelling my pressure on blogs, but just left signed off. It’s a time to look back. All my days filled with lots of worries and questions of life. It might be because of the professional problems I face with my present company. Even If I didn’t face any single direct problem till now, there’s always an unsaid fear and ethnic confusion around my mind. Many incidents and news made me shake and got me down to depression. But on the other hand, there were many rejuvenator’s like good books, plays with my sister kid, Ilayaraja’s music, Anandha vikatan, video chat with San, pilgrimage with my mom. Hmm! It’s the way to go. I know each person face these sorts in most of their life. But at the very last and final situation, I surrender god all the evils around me. It’s an ultimate energy and guide. Often I used to check out this post, which makes me feel good.

http://navkrishg.blogspot.com/2009/01/blog-post.html

These days taught me many lessons in my life, identified the real colors of people whom I believed a lot, and got me close the true people. I’m always selective and cautious in making people around me, but even at times, I need to learn some lessons from them. Thanks for them. At the same time, these hurdles identified important persons around me. Now thanks for time.

I did some measures to get rid of these stresses.
- I‘ve deleted the orkut account, where I spent my time stupidly [Just thought to show my stress over something, and no other specific reason :) ]
- Added a new hobby. Computer Chess… [Amazing game to make our brain active]
- Joined as a volunteer in Sri Ramakrishna Math, where I started doing some publishing work for their research on “Vivekanandar Illam” [The core thought on this is by reading a article by “Sri Kanchi Periyavar” on Service to human, and that’s on different post]

On professional front, it’s the instability of my company’s situation. A profession of a man is directly in touch with his daily activities and happiness. If it’s without problem, he’s good to all. If that had problem, everything is problem. Even there’s no big issue till, but the fear to feel which makes the pressure high. As I’m on work-bench expecting for work, I view this situation like how, John Milton explains his situation in “On his Blindness” sonnet. He says

'When I consider how my light is spent,
Ere half my days, in this dark world and wide,
And that one talent which is death to hide
Lodged with me useless, though my soul more bent
To serve therewith my Maker, and present
My true account, lest he returning chide,
"Doth God exact day-labor, light denied?"
I fondly ask. But Patience, to prevent
That murmur, soon replies: "God doth not need
Either man's work or his own gifts; who best
Bear his mild yoke, they serve him best. His state
Is kingly: thousands at his bidding speed,
And post o'er land and ocean without rest;
They also serve who only stand and wait.'

So I take it this way, “They also serve, who only stand and wait”. I will wait for my days to come :)